Coping With Loneliness
Even before our country was hit by the Corona Virus we were undergoing an epidemic of loneliness. We know that loneliness is as damaging to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. And 1 out of 5 Americans says that they feel lonely. With the Corona Virus, it just makes it worse. When you are stuck in your home or apartment, you don’t realize how much you miss people until you’re no longer around them. A smile, a touch, being physically close to someone one — all boost your spirits and release feel-good hormones. We are created to connect with one another, to help one another, to love one another.
I have scoured the internet to find ideas of coping with loneliness. Here are a few:
Stay Active
While it’s easy to focus exclusively on how to manage your mental health and loneliness directly during a crisis, we sometimes forget that our physical and mental health are delicately intertwined.
If you spend weeks of isolation not getting any exercise, this will have a detrimental effect on your ability to cope mentally. Below are some ideas of at-home activities that you can keep doing to stay active.
Practice Tai Chi, yoga, or at-home low impact workouts by following Youtube videos
Go for walks around your neighborhood (or walk on a treadmill if you have one and are concerned about going outside)
Do Something Meaningful
Another contributor to feelings of loneliness can be a loss of sense of meaning. If you are finding that you feel not just bored, but also as though you are losing your sense of self, then a loss of meaning might be affecting you.
All of us want to feel like we belong and that our life has importance, which is why incorporating meaningful activities into each day is important. Doing something meaningful each day, even if only for a short period, will give you a sense of purpose and identity.
Only you know what will create meaning in your life, but below are some ideas to get you started:
Sign up for an online course and do a bit of work each day
Create a family tree using genealogy websites
Sign up to be an online volunteer through the United Nations
Connect With Others
Perhaps the best thing you can do to combat loneliness during this period of isolation is to connect with others in non-traditional ways. While you may not be able to visit with family and friends in person, that does not mean that you cannot connect.
Family & Friends
Can you think of any out-of-the-box ways to stay in contact with friends and family? If you are comfortable using technology, there are numerous ways you can stay in touch. If you prefer more traditional ways of communicating, there are still options for you. Below are some ideas to stay in touch with your loved ones.
Send a handwritten letter or postcard
Call someone on the telephone (particularly on days you are feeling lonely)
Place calls using video chat services like Facetime, Zoom, or What’s App
Post on social media or respond to other’s posts on social media
Stay in touch by texting or instant messenger
Online
In addition to staying in touch with family and friends, you can also combat loneliness by participating in online exchanges with other people around the world. These don’t need to necessarily be your online "friends," but rather those with whom you share something in common and you communicate online.
Below are some examples of online connections that you can make.
Joining and participating in Facebook groups about topics you are interested in
Signing up for online forums about your hobbies or interests
Joining and playing Multiplayer games such as Wordfeud
Signing up for online sports games like Fantasy Football
Joining QuarantineChat, a service specifically set up to help people connect during quarantine
Find Sources of Comfort
Finding ways to give yourself comfort even when you are feeling lonely can help to improve your mental health. Below are some ideas of "comfort measures" that you can take even if you are alone.
Give yourself a foot massage or use a foot spa
Take a bath
Focus on your pet
Cook healthy comfort food
Watch favorite TV shows or read favorite books
Have a cup of herbal tea (chamomile will help you to relax)
Light scented candles (lavender will help to reduce stress)
Practice sleep hygiene to make sure you are getting enough rest
Create Something
There’s a reason why artists enjoy becoming swept away by their work. Expressing yourself through creative means can be therapeutic, whether it involves painting, writing, dancing, etc.
If you’re finding it hard to express what you are feeling, channeling your feelings into creating something can be cathartic. In addition, when you create something you enter the "creative magic zone," which can be a form of meditation in itself.
Below are a few lists of projects that you could try.
Writing Projects
Practice writing in a journal each day
Take up hand lettering or calligraphy
Start a daily blog journaling your experiences for others to read
Write poetry or Haiku
Write short stories or start the novel you’ve always wanted to write
Art Projects
Complete a paint-by-number project
Start a needlework, knitting, or crochet project
Compile a photo album that you can share later with others
Work on an adult coloring book
Take up a new hobby like jewelry making
Take up origami
Home Projects
Choose a space in your home and start an organizing project
Choose a room in your home and redecorate by moving things around or moving things from other rooms
Clean out the closet.
If you’re having trouble coming up with projects, focus on the ones that you can do with what you already have on hand. Most of us will have a notebook, paper, printer, and access to the Internet.
Using those few basic tools, you’re sure to find something online to get you started. You could even focus on culinary arts and focus on cooking or baking projects.
Distract Yourself
Another way to boost your mental health is to find healthy distractions. This might come in the form of reading, watching shows, listening to music, or finding other activities that interest you. Below are some ideas to help.
Read
Go back and re-read some of your favorite childhood books
Join an online book club like the ones at Goodreads
Give yourself a reading challenge by choosing a list of books you’ve always wanted to read or a list based on a theme (e.g., books all set in places you’ve always wanted to visit)
Read books of poetry if you find it too hard to concentrate on longer books
Read magazines on topics that interest you
Listen to audiobooks through services like Audible or Scribd if you struggle to read or have vision problems
Watch TV/Movies
Watch TED talks on Youtube about topics that interest you
Watch a series of movies on a theme (comedy movies will help to ease your stress)
Watch a television series on Netflix: my recommendation “Anne With an E”
Watch documentaries on topics you’ve wanted to catch up on
Listen to podcasts on topics you like
Create or Listen to Music
Go back and listen to your favorite songs from when you were a teenager
Create a playlist of happy songs and listen to those
Play an an instrument such as the piano or guitar
Other Fun Ideas
Take a virtual tour: Many museums offer digital access to their collections including the Louvre and Guggenheim
Play games that engage your mind such as Sudoku, crossword puzzles, solitaire, or online chess.
Plan for the Future
While it might feel like this loneliness will last forever, there will come a time that you’ll be back to your usual routines. One way to feel less alone now is to make plans for the future or do things that help you to focus on the future. Below are some ideas.
Make a "future list" of all the things you want to do
Order online and plant some spring bulbs
Plan a fun event for when you are out of isolation
Make a bucket list of things to do in your lifetime
Make a "goals" list for some area of your life
Practice Self Compassion
Most importantly, practice self-compassion during this difficult time. If you find yourself saying things like "I shouldn’t be feeling this way" or pushing away difficult emotions, this will only make your loneliness persist.
Instead of resisting your feelings, instead, find ways to be accepting of them as coming and going. This helps to take away their power and ease your unhappiness.
Remember that your feelings will change. If you are still struggling, try practicing guided meditation following a Youtube video.
Show Compassion to Others
It might seem counterintuitive, but if you are struggling yourself, sometimes offering help to others who are feeling lonely can make you feel less lonely yourself. Make a phone call, send a text, send a letter, or comment on someone’s social media posts. Be supportive and offer words of encouragement.
Everyone struggles with loneliness at some point. At this time God’s Word provides hope and strength. There is someone who is closer than a brother or sister and is always with You — Jesus Christ our friend and comforter!
Deuteronomy 31:6: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
PRAYER:
Dear God, I feel alone. Please bring the warmth of relationships into my life. Please cover my thoughts with hope. Please send your love into my heart. I know you are alive in all I experience. May the birdsong speak to my soul, May the trees remind me of life, May the bread I eat nourish my soul with its goodness, As I connect with the world around me. I give thanks for all those who love me, For all those who care. Help me to receive your hope in my heart, To embrace your life flowing in mine. I know I live and breathe as part of your family And dwell safely in you. I know you understand me. I am not alone. Amen.