Neologisms
Every year “Washington Post” runs an annual competition in which the readers of the newspaper are asked to submit alternative meanings to existing words. The results are often hilarious.
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulance (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) , a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
I posted these neologims on FB and got a few more.
Myopia: One’s own personal drug stash
Alimentary – (n) grade schools in a particular southern state of the U.S.
petulance (n) domesticated animal proficient in jousting
collage (n) institution of higher learning for persons over 65
whine (n) fermented grape juice to drink when one feels like complaining.
gaggle (n) water foul internet search engine.
If you have some good ones, send them to me and I will give you your 15 seconds of fame on my E Votional Page.
Now I know some of you are thinking by now: “What in the world does this have to do with the Corona Virus and our Christian response to it?”
Here is my answer: (Taken from the Mayo Clinic website)
Stress relief from laughter? It’s no joke
When it comes to relieving stress, more giggles and guffaws are just what the doctor ordered. Here’s why.
Whether you’re guffawing at a sitcom on TV or quietly giggling at a newspaper cartoon, laughing does you good. Laughter is a great form of stress relief, and that’s no joke.
A good sense of humor can’t cure all ailments, but data is mounting about the positive things laughter can do.
Short-term benefits
A good laugh has great short-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn’t just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can:
Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.
Activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response, and it can increase and then decrease your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.
Soothe tension. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which can help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.
Long-term effects
Laughter isn’t just a quick pick-me-up, though. It’s also good for you over the long term.
Laughter may:
Improve your immune system. Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can affect your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. By contrast, positive thoughts can actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses.
Relieve pain. Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers
Increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations. It also helps you connect with other people.
Improve your mood. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your depression and anxiety and may make you feel happier.
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“The God who sits in the heavens laughs.” Psalm 2:2
Prayer: God forbid that we let stress and anxiety overcome us when there is so much to be joyful about. Show us what is funny in life, even ourselves. Amen.